Westwood Presbyterian Church

WOW - August 20th, 2008

197 Browning  Boulevard, Winnipeg, Manitoba  R3K 0L1

REV. PETER BUSH's SERMONS

Proverbs on Words/Speech

 

     In the English speaking world where is a proverb which gets used also as a taunt – it goes like this, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This proverb we teach to our children to protect them from the harsh words that others say – to protect the hearer from feeling the slings and arrows of the verbal onslaught that is part of life.

     But we all know that this proverb is a lie. It would be more accurate to say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones which can heal, but words will enter my heart and soul and live with me forever.”

     Don’t believe me? Try this. Think back to high school, think about any of the cruel things that other kids said about you – and my guess is you can pull those memories up as vividly as thought hey happened yesterday – although for some of us those words were spoken 30 or more years ago.

     Words can hurt – words can cause extraordinary anguish. But as the book of Proverbs would remind us – words can also bring healing and hope. Words are powerful for both good and bad as these two proverbs indicate.

 

Proverbs 12:18

Rash words are like sword thrusts,

                                    But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

 

Proverbs 15:4

A gentle tongue is a tree of life

                                    But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

 

     Given the power of the tongue – the power of words – we need to be wise in how we use words – in the words that we speak so that the words are those that bring healing, and cause life to flourish in those who hear our words.

     These proverbs give us some idea of how to be wise. The first notes that rash words – words spoken in haste – words spoken off the top of our heads – words spoken as the first thing to come out of our mouths – words spoken when we are angry – words that are not weighed for how they will sound – these words are like sword thrusts. These words stab at the heart – these are the words that are often remembered long afterwards. One of the reasons that some of the harshest words we remember come from our teenage years is because as teenagers we have not yet learned to weigh our words – we have not yet come to fully appreciate how powerful our speech is.

     Proverbs would invite us to weigh carefully the words we speak. That means following the old adage of thinking before we speak. Asking ourselves how these words will sound. It also means choosing not to use our words in order to hit back at someone who has hurt us with their words.

     In an argument where people are hurting each other with their words – the words become blows that they throw at each other – and in the process things get said that break the spirit of the other. And once spoken words can not be taken back. There is no changing one’s mind once we have opened our mouths and spoken.

     But if words can cause that much destruction – they can also bring about healing and can nurture the flourishing of the human spirit. Words that encourage, words that thank, words that speak of comfort and compassion. These are all cases where words bring good. These are all cases where words have a power to do good beyond the speakers imagining.

     I remember in Grade 5, there was a school assembly. There had been trouble on the playground, and the principal wanted to get to the bottom of it. He was a wise principal, and he wanted the school to determine what kind of punishment should be given out to students who continued to miss-behave on the playground. The central question was – should those individuals (who happened to be older kids in the school) be singled out – or should the entire school be punished. I very shakingly got to my feet and said that it was not right that the kindergartens and grades 1 and 2 children should be punished for what the grade 6s were doing.

     I can still remember that after the school assembly was over that both my teacher and the principal complimented me for my courage in speaking up. Words from more than 30 years ago I can still hear. We can speak words into the lives of children, young people, adults – words that will bring life and hope.

     Think also of the power of the words – “I forgive you.” Words that free us from guilt, that help restore relationships that are damaged and broken. Words full of grace and healing. Yes, words are powerful tools for good.

     Our second two proverbs move us to think about some practical things that we can do to prevent getting in trouble with words.

 

Proverbs 10:19

When words are many, transgression is not lacking,

But the prudent are restrained in speech.

 

Proverbs 17:4

An evildoer listens to wicked lips;

And a liar gives heed to a mischievous tongue.

 

     There is a danger that comes with filling the air with words – some of them will not be wise words. There is that comes in conversation – we seek to outdo each other with our words – to tell a better story, to say something more outrageous, to say something that will get us the attention. We know how it is with the fish story – the fish starts out the size of a minnow and by the end is the size of a whale.

     Other proverbs suggest that if we keep silence – if we do not speak – people will think we are wise. But once we speak it is clear whether we are in fact wise or not.

     The invitation is to speak little. I admit that this is not easy – but if we think back through our lives – my guess is that we can think of many times when our saying unnecessary words got us into trouble.

     Now notice that this proverb does not invite us to say nothing – this is not a call to not speaking when wrong is being done – this is not an invitation to saying – “Silence is golden – so I will keep silent.” Rather this is a call to prudent speech – to speaking at opportune times. It is an invitation to practice “Less is more” when it comes to our words.

     An aside for the moment – as we live in a words excess – where to be honest we have too much of everything – I am coming to the conviction that “less is more” should become the new motto of our time.

     The second proverb in this pair does not start with speech – it starts with listening. How does this relate to the words that we say? What we hear has an impact on what we say. We hear a juicy piece of gossip – we want to pass it on. You know how the conversation goes, “I was told this in complete confidence, so don’t tell anyone else what I am saying.” And we may not pass that piece of information on – but whether it is correct or not it impacts the way we think about the person or group who are the subject of the morsel of gossip.

     Further, as we listen to the destructive talk, the damaging words that fill our world, that goes into a reservoir in us. And it is out of that reservoir that we draw the words we speak – out of that reservoir come the patterns of speech – the ways of talking about others that are part of the way we think, act, speak. If we work in an environment where there is much cursing – we are pulled to start using the same language. If we move in an environment full of gossip – we are pulled to become people who gossip. If we are among people who complain – we are likely to complain. And so it goes. Now we can choose not to listen to that talk – we can choose to live and work and be in an environment where negative words exist – but consciously choose to not listen – but instead to listen to health, whole, life-giving words. It is not easy to do that – but we can people who although we hear the negative speech choose not to listen – choose not to pay heed.

     All of this brings us to the last two proverbs I want to look at:

 

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

And those who love it will eat its fruits.

 

Proverbs 18:4

The words of the mouth are deep waters;

                                    The fountain of wisdom is a gushing stream.

 

     I admit that speaking about the tongue is a very dangerous subject for ministers, we live by words – what we say is analyzed and thought about. We are only too aware of the power of words. But I don’t think clergy are alone – while not all of us make a living off of words, all of us, it would be my guess, fall into the category of being people who love words – love our words – love to talk. Our tongues have in them the power of death and of life – and Psalm 1 which we have been reading each week in this WOW series and this first proverb hold out to us a choice. Which will it be? Will we choose to use our tongues for life or for death?

     The words we speak come from inside of us – they speak to what is inside our hearts and minds. God in His amazing grace promises to fill us with wisdom, to put His spring of wisdom into our lives so that that becomes the reservoir from which we draw our words. So that our words are no longer ours, but are drawn from the love and grace of God. The promise inherent in this last proverb is that God is in the business of renewing us, renewing us in His love and grace – so that His fountain of wisdom is in us.

     Thanks be to God that He puts the reservoir of His wisdom into our hearts, so that we can draw from it – so that our words bring healing and nurture the flourishing of life.